12.23.11

Here Comes Shanta Kwas (circa 2011)

Posted in Benjamin, Gabrielle at 10:28 am

Gabby and Ben with Santa

Gabby and Ben had their annual encounter with the bearded one last night and (as usual) a camera was on hand to capture their antics.  In looking back, we realized that this is the FIFTH picture that they’ve had with Santa (aka “Shanta Kwas”).  I am indeed very grateful that God has allowed me to live to see another Christmas with my family and friends.  For that mercy, I’m truly thankful.

I’m also thankful that Ben and Gabby don’t need to be coaxed into taking pictures anymore.  They are both all too willing to ham it up for the camera (as evidenced by Benjamin’s WIDE smile).  If anything, we have to remind them to smile a “normal” smile and not one that’s contrived! Gabby got it right, but I suspect that Benjamin’s smile has more to do with the XBOX and 20 plus other items he just asked Santa for than actually trying to pose for the camera!

And as a sidenote, can I sit on Santa’s lap myself and make one request of my own??? Dear Santa, look in the North Pole yellow pages and get yourself to a DENTIST pronto!! I’m jess’ sayin’!

10.09.11

Feeling some kinda way…

Posted in Vanessa at 7:46 am

I’m feeling some kinda way this morning.  I was cleaning my computer’s hard drive of clutter and ran across some photos I hadn’t seen in AGES and had a quick trip down Memory Lane.  Wow!  Vanessa, my first baby, is going to be leaving home before I can blink!  And while I am so excited for her and looking forward to doing college tours and getting ready for the prom and being a part of her selection of her path, I still remember the moment this little, beautiful person made her entrance center stage on earth!  I remember the sound of her voice in the delivery room. I remember seeing her smile for the first time.  I remember her first steps. And yes, I even remember her first temper tantrum!

So much of my life has been spent fiercely protecting her from all harm and danger and making sure that she has everything that she needs. And while she certainly has not been spoiled or over-indulged, God has blessed me to give her a safe and comfortable childhood.  But the realization that this mother lion has to let her cub leave the safety of the den  and enter into the jungle to fend for herself has me feeling some kind of way this morning.

So while I’m looking forward to 2013, I can already tell it’s going to be a HARD year for me! Lord, give me strength! (smile)

08.26.11

Filtamo and Ayelech: Thinking of you…

Posted in Adoption at 10:06 am

Every now and then (more often than not) the two of you cross my mind and I worry about you.  Are you okay? Are you safe? More importantly, are you healthy? Are you hungry?

But today, I’m especially thinking of you both because I wish with all of my might that you could see what I saw yesterday. I wish you could have seen the bright and inquisitive little ones that they have become.  I wish you could see the happy and excited expressions that covered their faces as they began a new chapter in their lives.  I wish you could see the strong bond of love that they share and will always have.  I wish you could have the joy that we have all because of your selfless gift.  I wish I could express with all the eloquence of the greatest writers throughout history how indebted we are to you both.

But beyond all, I wish I could erase the painful expression that is undoubtedly etched in your memory and was your last vision of them, with the beautiful ones that we are blessed to see every day.

OUR son and baby girl (the ones whose hearts we all share) begin the new school year in elementary school. It’s the continuation of the promise we swore to you in Hosanna four years ago and undoubtedly your biggest wish and dream.   They are not aware of the sacrifices that were made to get them there.  I find it ironic that the name for place in which we met (Hosanna) is the same Hebrew word for “help” or “please save now”. It is also an exclamation of praise for and praise to the One to which all praises are due.  On that day, together, we embraced and praised Him for His divine providence and mercy. And we thanked Him for our prayers that had already been answered before the beginning of time. Please know that the torch that was passed remains upright and in tact.

To you both, know that your candle is still burning…

Father in Heaven, hosanna! Hear my prayer. Dispatch your angels to attend to Filtamo and Ayelech. Grant them the peace that surpasses all understanding and supply every need. Holy Spirit, fill them both with the knowledge that their selfless gift has not been taken for granted but is lovingly nurtured and treasured each and every day. And grant to them your tender mercy the rest of their days until we all embrace again and sit together at Your feet.

In the matchless  and precious name of Jesus… Amen.

06.14.11

CELEBRITY ALERT!!!

Posted in Vanessa at 10:04 am

Guess who?? At 15, Vanessa can now say that she is a PUBLISHED AUTHOR!

She participated in a program that elevates and promotes literary art in Baltimore called the Citylit Project.  And some of her works were published in a book entitled “Speak the Truth, Even If Your Voice Shakes”. On Sunday, along with some other persons whose works were also published, participated in a poetry reading at the Barnes & Noble bookstore in White Marsh.

And while one could say I am biased, I would not be exaggerating in the least when I proclaim that Vanessa gave the best performance of her piece HANDS DOWN!!  She was really great and I sat there with my mouth open watching the baby that I used to make up stories to, reading her own creative work!! <<<BEAMING>>>

I couldn’t be more proud of my daughter!

05.10.11

A “TOUCHY” Conversation

Posted in Benjamin, Family, Gabrielle, General at 10:23 am

In the back seat of the minivan, on the way to dinner for Mother’s Day, I overheard the kids in the middle of a conversation that went something like this:

NOTE: Ms. Marguerite is formerly Ben’s, now Gabby’s pre-school teacher.

Gabby: You don’t touch, Ben!  Ms. Marguerite said you keep your hands to yourself!

Ben: Yeah, boys shouldn’t touch girls.

Gabby: Yeah.

Ben: (looking puzzled) But I touch you? And I touch Vanessa!

Gabby: Yeah but you’re not STUPPOSSED to! Girls can touch girls, and boys can touch boys. But a girl can’t touch a boy. And a boy is not stupposed to touch a girl!

Ben: But boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls.  I heard somebody say that in my class.

Gabby: Ben! Don’t be silly! BOYS can’t marry BOYS! (chuckling) Why would a boy want to marry a boy? He can’t be a princess!

Ben: (chuckling)Yeah, that’s silly.

(ME, deciding to join in their conversation)

Me: (to Gabby and Ben) I think what Ms. Marguerite is talking about is GOOD touch, BAD touch.

Lamar: The rules at school say that everybody should keep their hands to themselves whether you’re a boy or girl.

Me: Right! So if you remember the rules, you won’t get in trouble.

Ben: (still looking confused) So I can’t touch Gabby? Or Vanessa? Or Mommy and Daddy?

Gabby: (in a scolding voice) Ben!! Vanessa is not a grown-up! She’s a children!

Me: You can still hug your sisters, Ben.  That doesn’t count.  I’m talking about Good Touch/Bad Touch, when somebody tries to touch your penis.

Ben: (with a horrified/puzzled look on his face) When somebody tries to touch my PENIS??

GABBYand BEN: (LOUDLY together in unison) EEEEEEEWWW!!!!!!!

 

03.24.11

Is he really SIX-YEARS OLD now?

Posted in Benjamin at 10:59 am

Compare the Ben Bear

Some days, it’s hard for me to really take it in that my children are growing older and changing and becoming (gasp…dare I say it…) INDIVIDUALS!  But thankfully, once a year, I get to have a REALITY CHECK in the form of a birthday that lets me know that YES, they are getting older as I get younger. (smile)

Today is Benjamin’s 6th birthday and to see how he has developed and changed even since we got home from ET is utterly amazing! Talk about a TRANSFORMATION!

He is such a bright, intelligent, inquisitive, observant, rambunctious, impulsive child. Totally different from his sisters.  But then again, they all are different in their own and special ways.  I sometimes look at him and wonder what he’ll be when he grows up.  Will he be a race car driver like he hopes or will he develop the cure for cancer.  My bet is for the latter given how smart he is.  But through it all, I just hope that we can raise an African/African-American man in whom God can be pleased.

If that happens, my job as his mother would be well done!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENJAMIN!

01.03.11

Are we there yet? YUP! We sure are!

Posted in Benjamin at 9:50 pm

Brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen!  We have officially entered the era of the HARD QUESTIONS brought to you exclusively by our 5-year old son BENJAMIN! YIKES!!

Poor Lamar had to field the first set of questions about where babies are kept in a mommy’s tummy when Ben caught him off guard a few days ago.  Luckily for Lamar, Ben didn’t ask the follow-up question as to HOW it got there in the first place! Oh Lawd’ have mercy! I am NOT ready! (hahaha)

But I was not spared the barrage of questions as he immediately began with the 20 questions as soon as he got home from school today.  For some reason, Ben is asking a whole lot of questions about DEATH lately.  It probably started last month at Uncle Milton’s funeral when I explained to him that everybody has to die one day and I guess it has been on his mind ever since. It will probably continue full throttle on Saturday at Aunt Ann’s funeral too.  But today, I got the honor of having to answer the following little gems:

  • What happens to astronauts when they go to outer space and die?
  • Do they have a house in space?
  • Where do they bury them in space?

Did I have an answer for him?  You betcha’ I did! No problemmo! Mere child’s play for the kid! I had solid answers ready for him and didn’t even break a sweat!  HA!

But I must have appeared a little cocky or something because Ben went away and came back a few hours later with some more doozies that (I must admit) made me scratch my head a little.  Like I said, Ben has a little bit of a fascination about the topic of death.  But guess who’s on his HIT LIST??? SANTA CLAUS!

The conversation went a little like this:

Ben: Mommy?  Is Santa HUMAN?

Me:  Umm…yes Ben. Santa is human.

Ben: So Santa will die one day?

Me: Yup.

Ben: Do they have ammabalances in the North Pole??

Me: No Ben. They don’t have AMBULANCES in the North Pole.

Ben: (with a worried look on his face) But how will the ammabalance rescue Santa? Do they know his address? How will they find his house?

Me:  Don’t worry Ben! They don’t need AMBULANCES. The elves know C.P.R.!!

Ben: (looking relieved) Oh!  Okay.

Ahh! Crisis averted! It’s just another day in Superhero MOMMY land!